There’s a Push to Rename American Football. So… What Should We Call It?

It’s official: even football is up for rebranding in 2025.

At a recent FIFA event, President Trump stirred the pot by declaring that soccer is the real football, and suggested it’s time for the American version to get a new name. “When you think about it, [soccer] is football. There’s no question about it,” he said, adding, “We have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff.”

That offhand comment was all the internet needed to launch into full naming-mode. Because if we’re not calling it football anymore, what are we calling it?

Here are the most popular suggestions bouncing around social media, some serious, some… less so:

Real Contenders:

• Gridiron: The front-runner so far. It’s already a widely accepted term outside the U.S., and “National Gridiron League” (NGL) has a nice ring to it. No one tell the Canadians we’re stealing this.
• Pigskin: A classic nickname. It’s familiar, it’s weirdly nostalgic, and you can already hear announcers yelling, “It’s Pigskin Sunday!”
• AmeriBall: Because why give up the word “football” entirely when we can just red, white, and blue the whole thing?
• Tackle Football or “American Football”: Technically accurate, but let’s be honest, everyone would just keep calling it football anyway, defeating the whole purpose.

Snarky (but kinda genius) options:

• Full-Contact Chess: A name that tells you everything about the strategy and the brain-melting complexity of the game… plus, people get tackled.
• Hand Egg or Eggball: These jokes have been floating around online for years, thanks to the obvious fact that the ball isn’t round, and it’s barely kicked.
• Trump Ball: Let’s just say this one probably won’t get bipartisan support.
• DraftKings Ball: A nod to the fact that half the audience is only watching for fantasy points and prop bets anyway.
• Footbowl: Not bad, right? It ties in with Super Bowl, Pro Bowl, Toilet Bowl, etc. Bonus points for sounding like a competitive eating event.

And then there’s the completely chaotic tier:

• Yardball: For those proudly resisting the metric system.
• Millionaire Fight Club: Not inaccurate.
• Footsie: No.
• Soccer: What could possibly go wrong?

Of course, Trump made the comment while receiving a “Peace Prize” from FIFA, so there’s a solid chance this was just a bit of international sweet talk. But regardless, the naming debate is on.

Whether you’re Team Gridiron or ride-or-die for Eggball, one thing’s clear: whatever we do call it, it’s still going to involve giant humans colliding at full speed while fans scream at their TVs with queso in hand.

So… call it what you want. Just don’t mess with Sundays.