Nintendo Wants Us to Believe that Mario and Peach Are Just Friends?

(Who’s that dude high-fiving Peach?!?)

After nearly four decades of rescuing Princess Peach from castles, lava pits, and the occasional angry turtle, you’d think Mario might have secured something more than a polite thank-you. But according to Nintendo, it turns out the Mushroom Kingdom’s most eligible bachelor is firmly friend-zoned.

A recent update on the Nintendo Today app casually clarified the pair’s relationship, saying, “Princess Peach and Mario are good friends and help each other out whenever they can.” That’s it. Not “lovers.” Not “power couple.” Just . . . good friends. Which might be the most brutal plot twist in video game history.

This revelation comes as a bit of a surprise to longtime fans, given Nintendo has frequently hinted—or outright suggested—that Mario and Peach were an item.

Over the years, they’ve shared romantic moments in everything from cutscenes to end-of-game hugs. But this new statement hits like a blue shell in the final lap. Not even “good friends with benefits”? Apparently not.

Nintendo didn’t explain why they decided to clarify the characters’ dynamic now, but it’s hard not to read between the lines. Maybe they’re trying to reframe the characters in a more modern, independent light. Maybe they’re teasing a future story development. Or maybe they just want to finally settle the decades-old debate once and for all.

Naturally, the internet has feelings. The announcement triggered waves of disbelief, confusion, and memes.

One fan wrote, “Mario’s been risking his life for 40 years and all he got was a pat on the back??” Another joked, “Peach: I see you as a brother.”

Still, despite the heartbreak, this may be an opportunity for Mario to move on—maybe go karting with Rosalina, or finally take a vacation that doesn’t end with kidnapping. Meanwhile, fans will be left wondering what else they’ve been misled about in the Nintendo universe. Are Luigi and Daisy even a thing? Is Bowser just misunderstood?

No word yet if Mario has updated his relationship status on Facebook, but something tells us it’s complicated.