If your post-school check-ins with your kid usually go like this:
You: “How was school today?”
Them: “Fine.”
You: “…That’s it?”
Them: [walks away in silence]
You’re not alone. But the issue might not be their mood—it might be your question.
According to a therapist’s advice that’s making the rounds, the trick isn’t to stop asking questions. It’s to start asking better ones. These seven questions are designed to break through the “meh” wall and actually get your kid talking.
1. “What was the best part of your day?”
This one pushes them to scan their brain for a highlight—anything from nailing a test to an epic game of four square. (Warning: “Lunch” and “recess” are very likely answers.)
2. “What’s a mistake you learned from today?”
This frames errors as growth opportunities instead of things to hide. It helps normalize the idea that messing up is part of the process.
3. “Who were you proud of today?”
It’s not just about what they did—it shifts focus to others, and helps you get a glimpse into their values. Bonus: It encourages empathy.
4. “What’s one thing that would’ve made today better?”
This question gives them room to vent a little but also invites solutions, not just complaints. It helps them think critically about how to improve their own experiences.
5. “Who did you help today?”
Even if the answer is “no one,” it plants the idea that helping others is something to strive for. Over time, it could encourage small acts of kindness.
6. “What was the most interesting thing you learned?”
This one taps into curiosity. It can also reveal what really sticks with your kid—whether it’s science facts or some surprisingly niche knowledge about jellyfish.
7. “What’s something new you’d like to try?”
Encouraging kids to explore new interests keeps them open to growth and change. Whether it’s joining a club or trying broccoli, it counts.
Asking better questions won’t magically turn every conversation into a TED Talk, but they’re a great way to open the door to more meaningful interactions. Try swapping out the standard “How was your day?” for one of these and see what happens. You might just learn something cool about your kid—and maybe even about yourself.