Apparently, treadmills and dumbbells are out, and the hot new fitness craze is… pretending you’re a golden retriever.
The New York Post says people are now working out by “running and jumping on all fours like animals.” It’s called quadrobics, which sounds less like exercise and more like something your toddler invented in the backyard.
Clips are blowing up on social media, with people doing bear crawls and cat leaps… and yes, sometimes while wearing masks and tails. (The Post swears this has “nothing to do with furries.” Which, let’s be honest, is exactly the kind of disclaimer you give when it has everything to do with furries.)
One quadrobics fan says, “It’s definitely a full-body workout. I’ve lost a lot of weight and even got a six-pack.”
She’s been at it for a year and admits she’s still “not very good,” which makes sense because there’s no elegant way to gallop across a field on all fours unless you were literally born a horse.
A trainer explains that quadrobics overlaps with “primal movement,” and that people are craving “functional, holistic, playful ways to move.” Translation: jogging is boring, so let’s get on the ground and look like a family of raccoons fighting over a trash can.
If you’re tempted to try it, experts suggest starting small with bear crawls, leopard crawls, or crab reaches. Don’t just leap straight into cat jumps unless you’re excited about explaining to an ER nurse that you dislocated your shoulder while “panthering.”
So, if you see someone in the park galloping across the grass on all fours this fall, don’t panic… it’s not a feral human. It’s just fitness. And probably also content for TikTok.
