If a zombie apocalypse ever hits, New Jersey might want to start packing for Alaska…
Because according to a new “scientific” study, Jersey would be the worst place in America to try to survive an undead uprising.
Some so-called “experts” ranked every state’s zombie preparedness using six factors, including population density, hospitals, airports, water access, and how many hunting stores and military bases they’ve got.
The result? A readiness score out of 10 that says a lot about who’s going to make it past Episode One.
New Jersey came in dead last with a score of 1.66. Turns out, cramming 1,308 people into every square mile isn’t ideal when you’re trying to avoid a contagious bite.
The state also barely registers when it comes to survival infrastructure, with fewer than one hospital, one airport, and two hunting stores per 100,000 people. Translation: you’re not escaping, you’re not fighting back, and you’re definitely not getting a hospital bed.
Connecticut was runner-up for “fastest to fall” at 2.15, while Massachusetts and Pennsylvania tied for third-worst (2.57). Rounding out the doomed top five were California and New York, both packed with people but light on resources. (Though, as one report kindly noted, New York does have a “decent amount of water”… so if zombies can’t swim, Staten Island’s got a shot.)
On the opposite end of the apocalypse, Alaska absolutely crushed it.
The Last Frontier scored 7.89 out of 10, thanks to its massive open spaces (only one person per square mile) and more airports than moose (78.5 per 100,000 people). It also leads in freshwater access and military presence, making it the ultimate safe zone if you can handle the cold and occasional bear.
Maine took second place (5.31), mostly because it’s basically one giant Cabela’s, with nearly 70 hunting and fishing stores per 100,000 people. Rounding out the top survivors were South Dakota, Montana, and North Dakota… a.k.a. the “less-populated, more-armed” part of America.
Does your area have what it takes to “hold the line” during a zombie apocalypse? Yeah, mine neither.