Making Oreos at Home Is Easy: Just Grab Some Glyphosate and Hexane!

Ever wondered what’s really in your favorite store-bought cookie?

A viral recipe for homemade Oreos is making waves for laying it all out, step by step — and it’s both hilarious and horrifying.

The satirical how-to guide breaks down each ingredient in Oreos by tracing them back to their industrial origins. From glyphosate-sprayed crops to petroleum-derived flavorings, it’s a sarcastic deep dive into what it takes to whip up America’s favorite black-and-white sandwich cookie — if you were to make it exactly the way food manufacturers do.

Step one? You’ll need some glyphosate, a synthetic herbicide often used on mass-produced wheat, soybeans, and corn. And don’t forget the cocoa, which (in this parody) gets a similar treatment.

Then comes the artificial vanilla flavor.

To mimic that warm vanilla taste, you’ll be chemically converting a compound called guaiacol — a byproduct of petroleum — using a few steps that sound more like a chemistry midterm than a dessert recipe: glycolic acid oxidation and decarboxylation.

If that didn’t scare you off, let’s talk cream filling. First, crush and wash some soybeans. Then extract the oil with hexane (yep, also from petroleum), refine it, bleach it, and voila — you’ve got soybean oil and soy lecithin, two key ingredients in Oreo cream. Mix that with palm oil, high-fructose corn syrup, and your lab-created vanilla, and you’ve got the gooey center that millions love.

As for the chocolate cookie? It’s just as delightfully dystopian. Bake some cocoa beans, add potassium carbonate (an alkalizing agent), and mix in sugar, flour, synthetic vitamins, more palm oil, and artificial vanilla flavor. Shape, bake, sandwich, and boom — you’ve got yourself a DIY Oreo. Sort of.

The video ends by asking: Would you eat this crap?

It’s not really a question. The point is clear — maybe think twice before downing your fifth Oreo in one sitting.

Of course, Oreos are legal, wildly popular, and definitely delicious. But this satirical take is getting traction because it highlights something most of us ignore: the long, complicated — and often chemical-heavy — journey from crop to cookie.

So the next time you’re tempted by that sleeve of Oreos, you might find yourself picturing a bottle of hexane instead.