Shrekking: Here’s What the Hot New Dating Term Means

A new dating term takes inspiration from one of the most popular movie franchises of all time. But did the person who came up with it do our boy dirty? Here’s what the hot new dating term “Shrekking” is all about.

Have you ever gone out with someone you weren’t attracted to because you figured, “Hey, at least they’ll treat me nice”… only to find out they were also a total bastard?

Congratulations, you’ve been Shrekked!

“Shrekking” is the new term for a delightfully savage concept. It’s when you “date down” (aka, go out with someone who’s not up to your normal standards) under the assumption that they’ll be kind, loyal, or emotionally available. But instead of a sweet and self-aware Prince Charming, you get an ogre who’s just as bad (if not worse) than the hottie who ghosted you last summer. Basically, you gambled on inner beauty and lost hard.

But Shrek is a sweetheart!

The term takes its inspiration from the “Shrek” movies, where Princess Fiona looks past appearances and falls for a literal ogre. But if you’re a little peeved Shrek got looped into this at all, you’re not alone. In the films, he’s a lovable grump with a heart of gold. So naming a trend after him when there’s so much negativity surrounding it isn’t really fair. But here we are.

Yes, it’s mostly about d-bag dudes

While the term technically applies to anyone, it’s mostly being used in reference to men. Which, let’s be honest, kinda tracks. Half of all sitcoms involve a hot wife being low-key Shrekked by her pudgy husband who knows his favorite NFL team’s schedule by heart, but can’t remember his anniversary. (“King of Queens,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “According to Jim,” “The Simpsons,” “The Flintstones,” “Family Guy,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Married… with Children”… to name a few.)

A new term for an old trend

Dating coach Amy Chan – author of “Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart” – told “USA Today“ it’s a trendy term for something she’s seen many times before. Lots of folks (often women) have taken a chance on someone who wasn’t their type, hoping that physical attraction would grow or that personality would win the day. And being open-minded like that can totally pay off… unless it backfires.

The term might be new, but the behavior isn’t. Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better.”

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself

The point is that being “less attractive” (whatever that means to you) doesn’t automatically make someone nicer, more mature, or better at relationships. That dumpy guy with one ear two inches higher than the other could be just as likely to ghost you, cheat, or pick fights about pineapple on pizza.

So what’s the takeaway? Don’t go into any relationship – whether hot, not, or even medium cute – with the expectation that their looks say something about their personality, or that you’re owed better treatment just because you’ve “lowered your standards.” People are people, no matter what they look like, and jerks come in every shape and size.